Falling in love!

I'm back with an older blog. But this is not so old as i had written this originally on March 4, 2007. This piece is about my engagement. Now if you have read my blog on Marriage, you will know how terrified i must've been initially over the prospect of getting married. Men, to be put simply, are just not made for marriages. They hate it. Given a chance, men would rather be stuck in a beer bar with a dumb 18-year old girl hanging besides him like he is the best thing since sliced bread! But, that doesn't happen, except maybe in fantasies. Even a 90 year sterile man will have the same fantasy.

Anyway, to get back to my article, i'm engaged. And here is how it all began:



18th February 2007, a Sunday! A very important day for me. That is the day i got engaged to Rupali (née Ridhurkar).

Here is the mail i had sent to everyone to announce the news of my betrothal with Rupali (its in my usual inimitable style, which everyone loves! ):

Hi Everyone,

I know i have been dormant for quite some time, except for a cursory wishes mail now and then. I've been busy! well not exactly. but its an image i like to cultivate. Anyway, i'm now writing this mail for i have a bigger news than Relativity theory, atomic bomb, Newton's invention of gravity and Eli Whitney and his cotton gin.

The news is: I'm getting married. But before that I'm getting engaged. ("obviously! !!", i can hear some of you snigger). And before you all go "Poor, poor little girl!", let me say this - she got herself into this mess... there was no force or coercion. just a slight twisting of arm, as her chiropractor can testify. There you are. Isn't it a big news? OK, may not be as big as Eli Whitney and his cotton gin, but compared to the other three, it definitely is... i mean, now I'll have more relatives (as if there weren't enuf already), so that beats the relativity theory. And compared to marriage, an atomic bomb is a water pistol. Also, Newton theorized that it is gravity that attracts one body towards another; i have discovered a stronger attractive force!

Now go ahead, take pity on her. in fact i also pity her. Imagine having to spend all her life with me! heck, even i can't live with me all my life! Thankfully the feeling of pity doesn't last long.

Now, some background info:
My name is Paritosh. I did my B.E. in 2000 from RKNEC, and i joined... oh, you want info abt her? why? so that you can go and warn her before the inevitable happens? I don't think so!!!

Nonetheless, here's her info:
Her name is Rupali, and she's from Wardha. Did her B.E. in Electronics and Telecom from Sevagram, same place that a certain Mr.Gandhi had pitched his tents at.

I have her photo, but i won't send it, as i don't want you rushing to her place to keep her from taking a foolish step. Ok, so i don't have her pic, but i hate to admit that! I have my pics, so if you want, i can send those!

There you are, i have given a shocker of a news. No news can get any bigger than this, maybe one of you will come up with something in a few months, but other than that, i seriously can't think of anything bigger.

The engagement is fixed for February the 18th, a few days after valentines day! its a Sunday, so that rules out all your excuses that u have work to do. the ones not in a radius of 2000 kms are excused from the engagement. When i can take some time out for my engagement, i'm sure so can u!

The marriage is set in May. I'll be sending a longer mail for the marriage invitation later.

For the rest, i'm fine. Actually i'm scared, terrified, petrified, horrified, alarmed. But most of all, i'm still bewildered. I still stand by my principal principle that men aren't made for marriages. Poor poor little girls!!!

cheers,
Paritosh

So there is basic info about Rupali in that mail, where she's from, her education, etc... What i havn't yet written in this mail is how it all started. And i intend to put that here today.

Uptil now i still hadn't found a girl for myself, and my parents like all indian parents had started worrying whether i will ever get married. So finally they took the last recourse of looking a suitable match for me themselves. In a nutshell, i was going for an arranged marriage! So during Diwali of 2006, i saw a couple of girls, but if i liked one, my folks didn't; and if my folks liked one, i didn't! there was one that no one liked!!! but none that everyone liked! Then i got back to bangalore, back to work!

I was in South Korea all of november and few days of December 2006. During my brief stint there, i got the news that my parents had visited a new girl in Wardha (a town close to nagpur). My mom told me that she had done her B.E. and everyone had liked her. Now all that remained was for me to see her and give the final decision. Same went for her.

As soon as i came back to India, i had to take a trip to nagpur, as 2 cousins were getting married (not to each other!). So i was there for about a week. During that time, we took a trip to Wardha, a more of a on-the-spur-of-the-moment trip, than a properly planned one. We decided at 2pm that we'd go there, and around 4 we were in Wardha, at another relative's place. They were the mediators in this match. So, around 5, our whole party (me, my parents and the uncle) went to her place. We had the usual formalities, having tea, some snacks, sweets, etc... I saw her the first time when she came out with the snacks. Nice looking, i thought!

After the formalities, she came out to sit in the assembly. A bit of small talk. Then her father proposed that I have a talk with her in private if i want to. After a little dilly-dallying, both of us went upstairs and talked for 5 minutes. I don't remember the details exactly, but what i do remember was that there wasn't a lot of awkwardness. I still remember, the sun was setting, and the room faced west, so the evening sunlight was shining through the door. We came down, and then in a few minutes we (my parents and me) left. Came back to nagpur by 8 probably.

I was in nagpur for a few days after this. Till then neither me nor her had given the final decision. I wanted to talk to her a few more times, before i said yes! it was a big decision to take. I wanted to see how comfortable we are in talking to each other. I came back to bangalore, and then we talked to each other for a couple of times more. And then, i told my parents that i'm ready. I really liked her. Her parents also told us that Rupali is ready! Though there was still a small glitch on their side: her mom and brother hadn't met me yet. Her mom had gone to school that day (she's a teacher) and since the trip was sudden, she didn't make it home by the time we left.

All this happened in December. Me and Rupali got talking, and the awkwardness was slowly dissipating. Then everyone decided that we should have a "kaccha-pakka" ceremony soon, this ceremony is for a official confirmation on both sides, more like a booking ceremony! This was fixed for 5th of Jan 2007. Her brother had also come down from Benaras for this. This is when i first met him. I won't go into too much details about the ceremony, coz for 1, i don't remember much. and secondly what i remember is pretty mundane!

The engagement was fixed for 18th of February, and the marriage is set for 10th of May.

As for engagement, theres nothing different or special from other engagements. I had a lot of fun, but thats something i can't put down in words. The day was special for me. And it was special for Rupali too.

I'm not pitching for arranged marriage, neither am i against love marriages. Fact is I'm going through an arranged marriage, and i'm loving it! I'm having fun, discovering new things about her, finding out more intimate details. We are really and truly falling in love with each other. And its just over the phone as of yet. I have been with her, spent a long time with her on Valentine's day. But that kind of contact has been few and far between december and now! But we have talked a lot, and i mean a lot, over the phone. Its over the phone that we have discovered each other's likes, dislikes, favorites, pet-peeves, etc... And now we are totally frank with each other. Can tell each other secrets without worrying how the other might take it! Thats an essential part of being in love, of being in a relationship.

I think i'm falling in love! I'm usually a pragmatic fellow, but right now i want to be an idealist, and say that i will keep falling in love with her for the rest of my life.

For more images, check out the engagement album at My pictures.