The lessons learnt...

I had written this post long back. Must've been over 4 months now. But didn't post it, don't know why i didn't. Today i revisited the article again, and it seemed good! So here it is. I hope you think so too.

One of the news in November '06 was about the death of a Hollywood director, Robert Altman. Even though i don't remember seeing any of his movies, he did have some impact on me, through the serial M*A*S*H*. Altman had directed the movie M*A*S*H* (his first hollywood hit), and the serial was a derivative of that. And he had set most of the tone of the serial.

Way back in 1993, when we finally got cable at our place (after much cajoling!), the M*A*S*H* reruns were being broadcasted on STAR TV. The serial was about a army medical unit stationed in Korea during the Korean war. Now back then, i hadn't even heard of korean war, and had heard something about Vietnam, but i liked the serial, and slowly it began to grow on me. I used to book my slot in the evening to watch it, and no one else is allowed to watch anything else at that time.

I think what i liked about the serial was the fact that they used to have a nice balance of the fun and work. The surgeons, when not in surgery (sometimes even during it) used to spend time playing pranks. But they really worked hard at saving the lives, and feeling hopeless when someone died... i guess it was a lot like life. Sometimes things don't necessarily work out the way you want them too...

Perhaps, many of my friends will not be able to relate to my liking these serials. Call me a sentimentalist, but i used to like the light comedy serials that did not take itself too seriously, and the viewer wouldn't either. I also liked serials that aren't in a rush to finish, but used to take a slow meandering path. Now, don't go thinking that i also like the 'saas-bahu' serials. I don't! i vehemently hate them. They don't go anywhere, they have no sense. Anyway, to get back to the main topic, these serials always had a bit of life thrust in them. MASH, Wonder Years, even Doogie Howser M.D.! Ofcourse if i watch them again today, perhaps i'll like the feeling of nostalgia that i'll get, rather than the serials themselves.

When we are in our teens, the little advices that are present in these serials seem like a big philosophical discourse to us. We think that hey its such a profound statement that Doogie is typing in his computer (a pre-pentium piece, that now we'd see only in museums, or the railways booking counter!). As we grow up, the statements seem a hackneyed. But even today, perhaps i'll ask a teenager to watch them, because at that age it is a big philosophy. For me they have been a learning experience... about friendship, school, heartaches and heartbreaks, even a crush that we had. Sometimes they tackled some heavy topics, such as death, revenge, jealousy! These serials taught me a little about the difference between right and wrong, and also that sometimes there is little difference between the two.

I'm not claiming that i am a know-all, and certainly don't claim that whatever i have learnt, is from those serials. I am what all my learnings have made me. My teachers have been at home, in school, in the playground, in the books, the TV, the movies, my friends, and countless others. An ant teaches me persistence, my dog teaches me ... actually nothing, but he's fun to be around with! He's not even loyal; he'd go with whoever is ready to take him for a walk, and roll on the floor for whoever is offering him a bone, or sweet!

Another point, i know i'm biased towards english serials, but there have been a few good hindi serials as well. The one that i really used to like is a very old serial 'Neev' in the late 80s. I don't know how many people still remember that. But, i liked it. It was about a boarding school, and the teachers, and the students. I think that serial even so long back, made more sense than all the K-serials put together in this age!

I don't know why i have written this post. I suppose i'm just getting a bit nostalgic about the days gone by... the wonder years!

Falling in love!

I'm back with an older blog. But this is not so old as i had written this originally on March 4, 2007. This piece is about my engagement. Now if you have read my blog on Marriage, you will know how terrified i must've been initially over the prospect of getting married. Men, to be put simply, are just not made for marriages. They hate it. Given a chance, men would rather be stuck in a beer bar with a dumb 18-year old girl hanging besides him like he is the best thing since sliced bread! But, that doesn't happen, except maybe in fantasies. Even a 90 year sterile man will have the same fantasy.

Anyway, to get back to my article, i'm engaged. And here is how it all began:



18th February 2007, a Sunday! A very important day for me. That is the day i got engaged to Rupali (née Ridhurkar).

Here is the mail i had sent to everyone to announce the news of my betrothal with Rupali (its in my usual inimitable style, which everyone loves! ):

Hi Everyone,

I know i have been dormant for quite some time, except for a cursory wishes mail now and then. I've been busy! well not exactly. but its an image i like to cultivate. Anyway, i'm now writing this mail for i have a bigger news than Relativity theory, atomic bomb, Newton's invention of gravity and Eli Whitney and his cotton gin.

The news is: I'm getting married. But before that I'm getting engaged. ("obviously! !!", i can hear some of you snigger). And before you all go "Poor, poor little girl!", let me say this - she got herself into this mess... there was no force or coercion. just a slight twisting of arm, as her chiropractor can testify. There you are. Isn't it a big news? OK, may not be as big as Eli Whitney and his cotton gin, but compared to the other three, it definitely is... i mean, now I'll have more relatives (as if there weren't enuf already), so that beats the relativity theory. And compared to marriage, an atomic bomb is a water pistol. Also, Newton theorized that it is gravity that attracts one body towards another; i have discovered a stronger attractive force!

Now go ahead, take pity on her. in fact i also pity her. Imagine having to spend all her life with me! heck, even i can't live with me all my life! Thankfully the feeling of pity doesn't last long.

Now, some background info:
My name is Paritosh. I did my B.E. in 2000 from RKNEC, and i joined... oh, you want info abt her? why? so that you can go and warn her before the inevitable happens? I don't think so!!!

Nonetheless, here's her info:
Her name is Rupali, and she's from Wardha. Did her B.E. in Electronics and Telecom from Sevagram, same place that a certain Mr.Gandhi had pitched his tents at.

I have her photo, but i won't send it, as i don't want you rushing to her place to keep her from taking a foolish step. Ok, so i don't have her pic, but i hate to admit that! I have my pics, so if you want, i can send those!

There you are, i have given a shocker of a news. No news can get any bigger than this, maybe one of you will come up with something in a few months, but other than that, i seriously can't think of anything bigger.

The engagement is fixed for February the 18th, a few days after valentines day! its a Sunday, so that rules out all your excuses that u have work to do. the ones not in a radius of 2000 kms are excused from the engagement. When i can take some time out for my engagement, i'm sure so can u!

The marriage is set in May. I'll be sending a longer mail for the marriage invitation later.

For the rest, i'm fine. Actually i'm scared, terrified, petrified, horrified, alarmed. But most of all, i'm still bewildered. I still stand by my principal principle that men aren't made for marriages. Poor poor little girls!!!

cheers,
Paritosh

So there is basic info about Rupali in that mail, where she's from, her education, etc... What i havn't yet written in this mail is how it all started. And i intend to put that here today.

Uptil now i still hadn't found a girl for myself, and my parents like all indian parents had started worrying whether i will ever get married. So finally they took the last recourse of looking a suitable match for me themselves. In a nutshell, i was going for an arranged marriage! So during Diwali of 2006, i saw a couple of girls, but if i liked one, my folks didn't; and if my folks liked one, i didn't! there was one that no one liked!!! but none that everyone liked! Then i got back to bangalore, back to work!

I was in South Korea all of november and few days of December 2006. During my brief stint there, i got the news that my parents had visited a new girl in Wardha (a town close to nagpur). My mom told me that she had done her B.E. and everyone had liked her. Now all that remained was for me to see her and give the final decision. Same went for her.

As soon as i came back to India, i had to take a trip to nagpur, as 2 cousins were getting married (not to each other!). So i was there for about a week. During that time, we took a trip to Wardha, a more of a on-the-spur-of-the-moment trip, than a properly planned one. We decided at 2pm that we'd go there, and around 4 we were in Wardha, at another relative's place. They were the mediators in this match. So, around 5, our whole party (me, my parents and the uncle) went to her place. We had the usual formalities, having tea, some snacks, sweets, etc... I saw her the first time when she came out with the snacks. Nice looking, i thought!

After the formalities, she came out to sit in the assembly. A bit of small talk. Then her father proposed that I have a talk with her in private if i want to. After a little dilly-dallying, both of us went upstairs and talked for 5 minutes. I don't remember the details exactly, but what i do remember was that there wasn't a lot of awkwardness. I still remember, the sun was setting, and the room faced west, so the evening sunlight was shining through the door. We came down, and then in a few minutes we (my parents and me) left. Came back to nagpur by 8 probably.

I was in nagpur for a few days after this. Till then neither me nor her had given the final decision. I wanted to talk to her a few more times, before i said yes! it was a big decision to take. I wanted to see how comfortable we are in talking to each other. I came back to bangalore, and then we talked to each other for a couple of times more. And then, i told my parents that i'm ready. I really liked her. Her parents also told us that Rupali is ready! Though there was still a small glitch on their side: her mom and brother hadn't met me yet. Her mom had gone to school that day (she's a teacher) and since the trip was sudden, she didn't make it home by the time we left.

All this happened in December. Me and Rupali got talking, and the awkwardness was slowly dissipating. Then everyone decided that we should have a "kaccha-pakka" ceremony soon, this ceremony is for a official confirmation on both sides, more like a booking ceremony! This was fixed for 5th of Jan 2007. Her brother had also come down from Benaras for this. This is when i first met him. I won't go into too much details about the ceremony, coz for 1, i don't remember much. and secondly what i remember is pretty mundane!

The engagement was fixed for 18th of February, and the marriage is set for 10th of May.

As for engagement, theres nothing different or special from other engagements. I had a lot of fun, but thats something i can't put down in words. The day was special for me. And it was special for Rupali too.

I'm not pitching for arranged marriage, neither am i against love marriages. Fact is I'm going through an arranged marriage, and i'm loving it! I'm having fun, discovering new things about her, finding out more intimate details. We are really and truly falling in love with each other. And its just over the phone as of yet. I have been with her, spent a long time with her on Valentine's day. But that kind of contact has been few and far between december and now! But we have talked a lot, and i mean a lot, over the phone. Its over the phone that we have discovered each other's likes, dislikes, favorites, pet-peeves, etc... And now we are totally frank with each other. Can tell each other secrets without worrying how the other might take it! Thats an essential part of being in love, of being in a relationship.

I think i'm falling in love! I'm usually a pragmatic fellow, but right now i want to be an idealist, and say that i will keep falling in love with her for the rest of my life.

For more images, check out the engagement album at My pictures.

22 Men fighting on the Field.

I'm back with an older blog again! Many apologies to those who wanted me to write something new, but in my defense, i still havn't found a good writer to rip!

I'm just trying to cash in on the current worldcup fever. I had originally written this blog in April 2004. This was the time of the first India-Pakistan series after they had stopped playing each other. So the emotions were running high in both countries. We did manage to win the series then. Ofcourse, Pakistan reversed the situation next year, when they toured India.

Anyway, without further ado, here is the blog. Your comments are awaited!


I've been told by many people that humor is my strong point. But still more people believe i should stay away from writing humor, or writing anything for that matter. They'd prefer that i was stuck in the Sahara desert with not a keyboard in sight, not even a mobile phone keyboard. That way i can't even SMS, and they can finally sleep peacefully, without worrying what horror i might wreck on them the next morning. But God so far has been kind to me, much to their consternation.

Boys usually have a very limited range of thoughts; sad, happy, angry, ecstatic, or nothing. 'Nothing' is usually our state most of the time. Theres one more state of emotion that we are put thru, and rite now 99.99% of the male population in India and Pakistan is going thru it. That is cricket emotions. Cricket provides us with all the adrenaline rush to last us till the next match, sometimes even more.

So what is cricket? 2 men in their night PJs trying to defend three upright sticks stuck in the ground from a red, round missile. And then there are 11 other men doing calisthenics that would shame a chinese gymnast. Espeically when the Mad Hatter at one end points towards the sky! Thats cricket to a layman. Presently there are no laymen in India and Pakistan. Ask any of the male species if he stands more than 1 feet tall, and he'll tell you that he's an expert and knows everything about the game. Doesn't matter if he pronounces it 'kirkeet'! He'll start with the wicket, wide ball, stumps, out, catch, LBW, and other arcane terms. He might as well be explaining Theory of Relativity, for the other person sure doesn't understand anything. Don't worry, neither does he!

We are affected, and how! I myself have danced an impromptu jig alone in my room whenever a wicket fell (the people downstairs weren't very amused though). The best way to watch a match, besides in the stadium is the college hostel common room. I was never a hostelite, but used to go over to the hostel during a match. There u can see all the boys display the complete range of emotions that they possess (except maybe the special one reserved for girls, and i'm not talking about love!). And if anyone whispers about changing the channel, even during an ad about a new style of head-dress for sahara desert, and he's a marked man! he will be shunned for the rest of his life, if he's lucky. If he's unlucky, there won't be much of his life left anyway.

The roar that greets every ball bowled by any indian bowler is great. The roar when a opposing team's wicket falls down is even greater, and thats saying a lot. We have stuck our fingers in our ears as far as they can go in, and howled on top of our lungs any time a wicket fell.

Nowadays our conversation is limited to gullies, silly point, mid on, mid off, leg breaks, byes, wides, etc... etc... etc... Nothing else is on our mind, not even Mallika Sherawat. But who can blame us. Cricket gives as much twists and plots and sub-plots as any of the Bollywood potboilers. It has action, drama, high emotions, romance (usually off the field!), tragedy, comedy (Inzamam running towards the crease with the bat in the wrong hand and getting run-out!).

Wifes and girlfriends say we don't pay attention to them when a match is going on. But we do. Now i'm sure i noticed my girlfriends new... Hey thats a catch. Great catch Dravid. Kya wicket liya.... I'm sorry like i was saying, i do notice a lot of things besides the match... Oh no, a no-ball! C'mon Agarkar, they don't need the extra runs!!!.... sorry again; what was i saying??? Oh what the heck, i won't pretend any more. I don't notice anything, not even that the my lunch is burnt to a cinder and i might be starving for the next 6 hours! Advice to all the ladies, if you want us to pay attention to you, wear a T-shirt that shows Tendulkar hitting a Six, or Pathan rejoicing after a wicket. No don't come naked, that won't catch our attention! And please try it between the overs.

To many people Life is a Game, to us Cricket is Life! Period.

Of Marriage and Men

As i had said in the first blog, i'll be adding my previous blogs from other sites to this. This is the first one in the list. I had originally published this on 6th February, 2006. Happy reading!!! :-)

Of Marriage and Men

In the 6 months starting December 2005, there are a total of half a dozen marriages (and a few more that i cannot recall at the moment). I'm saying this of the guys in my batch (or a couple of years senior or junior). My point is all my friends are getting married. and though i'm not particularly adverse to the idea, i still cannot reconcile to the fact that all those guys, who first wouldn't have anything to do with girls and later would leer at them to make Jack the ripper cringe, are married or close to it.

We were a bunch of motley crew in college. After that, though we all went our separate ways, we still managed to stay in touch. Well, some more than others atleast! We were normal (atleast we like to think so!) during our college days. Did all the leering and maybe more during the initial days. First we wouldn't like anything to do with girls, infact the unfortunate few who dared to talk to the opposite sex, were treated like untouchables, or atleast like the frightened puppy who everyone wanted to kick. Later, we started drooling at the sight of girls, and then girls wouldn't have anything to do with us. So all we could do is keep talking about them. not talk to them, mind you; just about them.

Later, after we realized that this isn't going to get us in their good books (even on the last page), we mellowed down. Slowly. girls decided that we weren't going to eat them up, and dared to be friends. Actually it was more a sort of symbiotic relationship. They'd finish their journals on time and then loan it to us, and in return we'd keep our comments about them to the minimum. Most of us succeeded in that. And slowly they got bolder, and after seeing that we have lost the fine art of passing comments, they decided to reverse the situation. And believe me, when a bunch of girls get together to fire barbs at poor guys, we have nowhere to hide. In that situation, even hell would be a welcome respite!

Then suddenly one day, college was over. Just like that. I mean, we were all expecting it, and after the gruelling exams, even hoping for it, but not really prepared for it. One day, we are all busy pouring over our notes, books, xeroxed pages, trying to cram as much as we can in 1 day, and the next day, after the last exam, the college is over. All those classmates who we saw 6 days a week for 4 years (well most of them anyways) were suddenly gone out of our lives. And most of them probably won't remember me, or i won't remember them. They are gone, part of a chapter that has been closed for ever. But some friendships lingered on, for better or for worse. These were the girls and boys, with whom we have laughed and cried (or made them (girls and boys) cry) and traded barbs, shared notes, shared dreams.

Soon most of them will be married. Almost all the girls, and a few boys as well. Now those guys and girls, are going to be husbands and wifes. Miyan-biwi, pati-patni. And those guys, who couldn't remember to wash the dirty laundry, and would wear the socks inside out rather than fish for new ones, would be going to bed thinking where they have kept the last tax receipt and how costly the cleaning maid are, or even how the prices of onions are going through the roof. In a few years, they'll be thinking how much a baby cereal will cost, and how much they'll have to save incase they need to put the kid through college.

My point is (i know i go off on irrelevant tangents) after marriage we will be taking on responsibilities, that we didn't even dream of, even in our worst nightmares. Infact now the nightmares themselves are taking on a different shade. A lost receipt in a dream will make us lose more sweat than a 5 set match of tennis.

The most incomprehensible part is that its all ad-libbed. No books, no courses, no college on these things. We are just expected to know what to do. I say this for guys and girls. After marriage, the guy is expected to be responsible. Even if a day before he couldn't find his car keys, it was ok, expected; but now he should know where he kept that singing competition certificate (3rd position) that he won when he was 10 years old, and the only reason he won was that the 4th and the last guy was having a bad case of sore throat. The girls, on the other hand, are slightly better prepared. They have been playing with their barbie dolls, long enough to know how the kitchen should be kept, how the clothes should be ironed. Talking of ironing, heres an anecdote:
Once as i was ironing my pants during college, my sister asked me,
'Do you know why it is called a press?'
I said, 'No'
'That is because you are supposed to PRESS the pants'
'Oh'
Thats how bad i am. I admit it, infact i'm even proud of it. The girls are well, prepared.

On the question whom marriage hits harder, girls or boys; the answer is obvious: Guys! No more bear parties (I don't like it, alcohol is bad for your health, etc...), no more late nights (why do you need to stay out when i'm sitting at home?), no more sports (its sport not religion), no more 'Die hard' movies (how can you even watch that crap?).

Then, as we are slowly reconciling to the fact that we won't ever have fun again, and this is how life is going to be for the rest of our lives, it suddenly changes. A baby is on the way. As if marriage hadn't spoilt everything good, now we have to put up with a baby. And the problem with babies, well for starters, they are babies. Why can't the stork just bring a 25year old guy with his own apartment and has an interest in sports, drinks beer? And since i'm already asking for the impossible, how about a guy with his own palace, and enough money to buy Bill Gates and Larry Ellison together?

Now, the babies are smelly, they arn't toilet trained, they can't stop crying, they are major pain in the neck. As they grow older, they want to do things their way, eat the food from the floor rather than from the plate (it tastes better that way, they say), and just when we are licking our boss's ass for that big promotion, he repeats our words verbatim from the other day as to how that guy is the sole reason for the company going down the dumps (he even recites some of the more colorful description that we had used)! If he were a 25 year old, I could atleast strangle him, but now all I can do is wonder whether I am dying of a heart attack, then realize that I am not and then wish that I'd die of a heart attack!

I'm sufficiently put off marriage after writing this. The guys who arn't yet married, i hope you are too. And the guys who are married, well it was nice knowing you. I'm sure, you'll be rueing your decision sooner rather than later.

To the girls who are reading this, i have just one defense: i wasn't in my senses when i wrote this. So incase you had, at somepoint decided that you could marry me, then please do not be hasty and put that thought aside yet. I can iron my clothes, cook decently and do the dishes, and even clean the house! whatsay to that?

Cheers!

'Shaadi woh laddu hai to khaye woh pachtaye, jo na khaye woh pachtaye'
(Marriage is that sweet, which whether we have it or not, we'll always regret!)

(This goes for men only!)

My first blog on Blogger

Hi,
I'm Paritosh. Born on 1st August, 1978. So that makes me a 28 years old. I also... ummm.....

I have always had problems with starting such articles. Though, once i get in the flow, i can't stop! there are so many things to talk about, to share, to discuss; how can a person ever say all that he wants to?

Over the course of time, i'll be putting more articles here. Some original, some from my previous blogs on other sites. Which brings me to the real reason why i have started blogging on Blogger.

I started the blogging journey with rediff blogs. But after some time i forgot the password to it (or maybe rediff disabled the account after i stopped accessing it for ages!). Then i started a new blog on yahoo 360. The problem with this one is that for people to put comments on my blog, they need to have a yahoo account. Which in my opinion is ridiculous!

A friend suggested blogger. So here i am. Blogging again. Writing a 'My first blog' again! Waiting for comments again.


Like i said earlier, i will be adding more articles from my previous blogs as well. Infact thats going to be most of the posts on this blog till i'm all out of more articles. Then i need to search for a different writer to plagiarize!

So friends, romans and countrymen! ok, strike off the romans and countrymen part, lend me your ears. For i have nothing, something and everything to say!!!

ciao,
Paritosh